Another post

Hmmm. I really should write something more here than "hello," especially since I just babbled a whole bunch in someone's comments.

This is kind of weird, writing a journal entry for an audience. I guess it's sort of like an email to the world. Open letter to the planet, yeah? It's an interesting thought. I think sometimes about how different things are now than what they were before computers and internet. TV too I guess. Everyone's so easily connected now. It won't be long until everyone's able to simply think thoughts to their friends. Do you suppose that will make eavesdropping easier or more difficult?

It's funny that I'm starting this now, because I'm also thinking about making a vlog. I'm just going to be splattering myself all over the internet! Actually, the vlog thing came about the same way this did - I got interested in someone's online journal, and wanted to be able to respond, and maybe try it for myself. I don't know what all I'm going to talk about, but I always seem to wind up babbling so much, I'm sure I'll come up with something.

All this internet connectyness I've been exploring lately has me thinking about the human need for connection in general. I can't quite decide whether the technology brings us together more, or isolates us more. Some combination, I guess. I don't know. I'm just not very good at talking to people in real life, it seems like. Online it's okay; I like it. You can be very clear online, in text. There's time to get it right. You can backspace. In real life, it just comes out of your mouth and half the time you don't even hear what you said until a few minutes later, when you realize you've completely botched what you meant to say.

I don't know. I said I like communication, but maybe that's a fib. I'm not very good at it in real life. Online I babble away. Maybe I just like to fill up the space. Maybe I just like to think that it's okay to babble here.

Maybe it's just that it's harder to see when people are sick of me talking from behind a computer screen. Hee.


I guess in real life I'm mostly quiet. I look a lot, and I listen a lot, but somehow when I try to talk and join in, it just all goes wrong. It's like I can't... it's like if the whole world were on a trolley, and I'm running to catch up, but I just can't get at the right speed. So while everyone else leaps gracefully on board and gets their feet solidly beneath them, I'm... sort of clunking along, out of breath and trying to grab hold, and falling flat on my face and getting a nosebleed.

I like it online. I can pretend that I'm graceful too. I guess writing that out here in a blog sort of nulls the pretense, but... maybe that's alright. I don't know. Maybe somehow I have to find a way to make my real life self and my online self more... together. Maybe I have to learn to blur the edges.

Well. You see? I babble. Do you suppose that's what the B in Blog is for? Babble depository?